Hey Team!
Sorry for the silence. Being home has been quiet. Too quiet for me. I've gone back to old jobs, picked up a new one, but I am feeling very much liked a beached whale - out of my home element and slightly crushed beneath the enormous weight of my future.
It's only been just over a month since I've been home, but I am feeling super out of it all. I'm hoping not to do another internship, but jobs are scarce and competition is high. And grad school opens a whole new can of questions about the who, what and where of it all.
Sometimes it feels like it would be so much easier to do... well, pretty much anything else.
Which some people in my life seem to think is the next step. Rather than just sitting back and letting me do my thing (which I am trying to, really I am), there are people in my life that still seem to think that this is a phase of my life.
I joke a lot about how people always say to me "I wanted to be a marine biologist when I was a kid" when I tell them what I do. Most kids go through a phase where they want to connect to animals as their dream job. But they grow up and turn towards more suitable jobs that family, friends or general society tell them would be better for them.
So I think some people believe that I'm just still in that kid phase. That one day I will grow up, snap out of it, put on the suit and head into an office or a operation room or a class room for the rest of my life.
So I was talking about my current predicament and someone who I always thought understood me and my life says, in the straightest of voices, I swear to you, "So, when do we move on from this?" meaning - when do we give up on this whole marine biology dream and do something worthwhile with your life?
Let me tell you - there is no moving on. There is nothing more worthwhile. I may never own a house or go on expensive vacations or be able to retire at a reasonable age, but I don't really care. Because I am going to wake up every morning in whatever shack I end up living in, and want to get on my bike and go to work everyday until I die because there is no plan B.
This is my life. Either get on board or jump ship. Come Hell or high water, this captain will sink or swim with her ship of dreams.
Enough cheesy water lines,
Speak Loud!
